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missing out

by thanks for coming

/
1.
i’m so underground loud when it’s down dark all around what about now what about now figured it out figured it out but i still don’t know what it’s about watching the day feeling it break staying awake do what it takes you’re far away wait until may and i walk back to my own mistake inside my room i’ve got my youth i think of you up on the roof i’m on the move we need it soon you feel it too so goes the moon you feel it too on over through you feel it too we’ll never lose you feel it too one of the few
2.
untitled ii 04:00
(do we think the same way do we think about the same things) thought i’d find you in the back of the bookstore where everything’s broken and heroes go to die i’m not saying you’re unwanted i’m just pretty sure i’m not you want to explore the world but everything’s been found i didn’t read the paper and i didn’t miss much tried to call you later but it’s not what you want (do we think the same way do we think about the same things) nothing ever makes sense or maybe it’s just me you said it’s not about us it’s about probability do you ever think about time? does it ever stand behind you? make you feel like you’re haunted? but who cares about feelings? i didn’t read the headlines and i missed it all tried to call you on time but you threw out your watch (do we think the same way do we think about the same things do we think the same way do we think about the same things)
3.
boring 02:21
it’s funny when your heart feels heavy and feels like falling out except it doesn’t, it just gets closer every time you use your mouth i wanted you to tell me i had a meaning i wanted you to tell me that i meant nothing at all it’s funny when you’re waiting for something that never comes and when you ring the post office they don’t pick up i wanted you to tell me i wasn’t a waste i wanted you to tell me that i was wanted around it’s not like anybody cares it’s not like a year went by where i wasted my time with people that find me boring it’s not like anybody noticed it’s not like they cared every time that i left i wasted my time with people that bore me bore me it’s funny when your heart feels heavy and feels like falling out except it doesn’t, it just gets closer every time you use your mouth you use your mouth you get so loud you’re always down you get so loud you’re always down you use your mouth you use your mouth
4.
plug yourself into another outlet all your friends’ friends love that outfit press some buttons when you get pressed for time everybody knows that it hurts to feel alive you get high, you can’t hide from the inside you get low, you can’t go to the outside you stay here, you can’t clear out the inside you stay there, you don’t care about the outside can’t you tell i’m feeling fine, i’m always active underlying words will tell you it’s all pathetic let’s just log in and close all the windows shut everybody knows that i don’t really give a fuck you get high, you can’t hide from the inside you get low, you can’t go to the outside you stay here, you can’t clear out the inside you stay there, you don’t care about the outside you get high, you can’t hide from the inside you get low, you can’t go to the outside you stay here, you can’t clear out the inside you stay there, you don’t care about the outside
5.
they say 03:20
you’re always in the other room and your friends don’t even look at me and they say that they’re different but they say the same things and they say that the world hurts from inside their own do the drugs make it go away well the drugs say what you say and you shake hands so that they understand that forgetting has been your only plan and you shake hands so that they understand that forgetting has been your only plan you say that i just don’t get it and i never said i did and you say that i’m pretentious while all your friends pretend do you feel anything at all? why does no one ever talk? they say things to fill up space and you say them right back and you shake hands so that they understand that forgetting has been your only plan and you shake hands so that they understand that forgetting has been your only plan
6.
untitled i 02:14
7.
re: 03:07
treat me how i deserve to be treated sorry that i sort of retreated i was never one for the fight, snuck off late at night and prayed to a god that never prayed for me back and here we are, and there we go when is it okay to say i got old and here we are, and there we go i can’t stop, and you don’t know i was hoping you could tell me what my problem is is it that i don’t want to remember or that i always forget maybe it’s the drugs, or maybe i don’t care enough about myself or about the rest of the world and here we are, and there we go when i’m out i want to be home and here we are, and there we go i get high, do i get slow? and here we are, and there we go when is it okay to say i got old and here we are, and there we go i can’t stop, and you don’t know
8.
do you think about me before you go to sleep honestly i don’t want to know the answer i can’t even dream stopped counting the weeks honestly would you want to know either i don’t want to be the one to say “i’m heartbroken” i don’t want to be the one to say what remains unspoken i don’t want to be the one to say “here’s to hoping” i don’t want to be the one to say “i’ll stop smoking” and i think about you when i wake up alone and i guess i will never know the answer these days are the few i’m outside of my room and i guess that somehow it’s better i don’t want to be the one to say “i’m heartbroken” i don’t want to be the one to say what remains unspoken i don’t want to be the one to say “here’s to hoping” i don’t want to be the one to say “i’ll stop smoking”
9.
untitled iii 02:41
it’s easy to make plans and it’s easier to break them i don’t want to be the reason you never make it off this island it’s easy to say you don’t mean a thing and it’s hard to say what i really mean i don’t want to be the reason i’m always looking for a reason i don’t want to wake up someday and realize that we’re acquaintances so either treat me like your garbage and throw me out where you see fit i don’t want to wake up someday and realize i’m not in the right place i’m not in the right place am i even in a good head space? i don’t want to wake up sunday i don’t want to wake up someday i don’t want to wake up monday i don’t want to wake up without him here i don’t want to wake up sunday when did the weeks get so wrong? or tell me that we’re not friends and we’ll forget that this even happened i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine
10.
sunburnt 02:47
you are the enemy i’m not the way i look the sun drowns me in the best way i’ve known you are the carpenter you build me up and up the walls collapse inside and i fall back down the clouds treat me in all the wrong ways the clouds treat me in all the wrong ways the clouds treat me in all the wrong ways the clouds treat me in all the wrong ways if i’m supposed to burn i’ll burn you make my stomach hurt you make my insides turn if i’m supposed to burn i’ll burn you are the closest star i’m on a different orbit walking towards the dark walking towards the darkness
11.
crystal, i’m sorry i ruined you that joke isn’t funny anymore you spoke to me about god i’m just glad she remembered my name you never notice me i want to tell you things are okay to the girl that made me laugh, i hope you find the one i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you (is anybody real anymore)
12.
keep it 04:49
want to see the ocean with my own two eyes scared it won’t be as blue as i’d like that’s just another assumption, on the train to broadway junction i could go by myself but i don’t want to know what i’d find will we ever make it to the end of the avenues? i’d like to think so but i’d be willing to lose you can take someone else and keep it as a story to tell and i’ll pretend like i was there too i’m always missing out i’m always falling down i’m always worried you won’t want to stick around i’m always missing out i’m always in the clouds i’m always worried i won’t make it back to the ground want to know if this is where i’m supposed to be can’t find a place to fit inside of completely maybe i have potential, maybe i’m too existential maybe i’m potentially wasting away in this city i’m always missing out i’m always falling down i’m always worried you won’t want to stick around i’m always missing out i’m always in the clouds i’m always worried i won’t make it back to the ground

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DA038 // MISSING OUT, by thanks for coming

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released August 25, 2017

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Disposable America Boston, Massachusetts

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